This week and the previous one are often called "Hell Week"and "Death Week" on college campuses all over america. A term that is used to describe the time when lists are made, composed of overwhelming projects, book reports, exams and so on that are worth the majority of your grade in the class that semester. Timelines and news feeds are filled with complaints about how a particular assignment will be the "death of me"or brings them to a point in which they post "Kill me now". On occasion you might pass by a conversation that sounds like this, BOB1: "what does this week look like for you?" BOB2 :"Like death". . .
That was my reality. my attitude. I jokingly have made some of those comments in the last week (when you are up till 4:30AM several nights in a row working on a particular subject. . . your attitude isn't always the best.) but
I WAS WRONG.
*Disclaimer: I am simply pondering. processing. reflecting. and trying to learn, while celebrating the life of a brother.
On 1:30 Saturday night I was given a reality check - a horrid, and awful reality check that left pain and chaos in its wake.
Death became a reality this weekend.
I didn't know Daniel very well, but he made GREAT stir fry, and always had a smile!
. . .This week has left me with a broken heart and a burden that I carry for those that I love, my brothers and sisters in Christ, who LOVED Daniel well (those that still do).
The sounds of shocked and broken sobs from my friends echoing in that auditorium are seared into my memory and not easily forgotten.
I don't have answers I can offer, Words are inadequate, and I cannot begin to have an idea of the grief that they are enduring. IT SUCKS. I don't like seeing some of my favorite people hit rock bottom and being unable to help them.
The reality check that we as people are not immune to death and loss is good. Even though the death and loss itself is HORRID, a nightmare. I do not believe we were made to handle such tragedy, we are incapable. We were made to know goodness and Love, companionship and creativity, but Asa BUT, There is a solution that satisfies the need that our distorted nature creates. Christ. I think that there is a odd beauty in being awakened to that need, because it is only when we are truly needy to we crave and desire the solution.
Maybe that is where joy comes into play. I believe that is possible to have joy when you are sorrowful, because joy - deep and abiding is not happiness. Joy is more.
MAYBE JOY IS THE MINDSET THAT DESPITE THE DARKNESS (EVIL) OF THIS WORLD THERE IS STILL LIGHT (GOODNESS).
In studying for one of my classes I was reminded that God is righteous! Meaning that He fulfills every relationship perfectly.
That includes his relationship with darkness. That means He knows the correct PLACE of darkness and also what is IN the darkness.
He is in control. He is sovereign. Despite what has taken place.
AND. . .
In him there is new beginnings and New hope that we can cling to.
It doesn't mean we are going to have answers we want, but thats when we MUST trust. Trust in someone who is constant and unchanging. Someone outside of time, in whom is the source of life.
I am thankful that Daniel knew life, that he knew the source of all life, and that he knew his identity was in Christ. I am thankful that He LOVED the Lord with his whole heart and I am jealous of him. Because he is face to face with The King of Glory! - which is way better than winning the lottery!
He is in paradise! A paradise that Paul writes about in 2 Corinthians 12:1-4. A Paradise that makes men want to boast! A paradise that those who believe in the name of Jesus Christ get to enter into because of His victory over death on the cross, and their restored relationship with God!
Life here on earth is simply a gift from God, it's is always a gift - a gift that I am guilty of forgetting, one that I am not entitled to by right; but one that I have. One that we are all given -
even during finals week, even during the midst of tragedy.
Maybe I can't offer answers to tragedy or the horrid things in life, and
maybe I can't make that hollow ache - that gapping hole that comes from senseless tragedy go away. But I can pray, and love, and I can share moments of laughter, with my friends, with those hurting and remind them of the other reality.
The reality of life.
